New Life, New Beginnings

Well everyone, I wish I had anything exciting to tell you about myself...but I don't! I have entered another TWW and officially off work for the next four days! Woo hoo! I'm kicking off my day tomorrow with a massage after I take Zoe to the groomer! Then we are going to a high school football game with some friends, and a cookout on Saturday! Yay!

So anyways, TWW. Yep. One of those again. I am feeling pretty optimistic for this cycle. I ovulated right on time this time. I never had a problem getting pregnant before when I ovulate on time. I think last month my body was just a little whacked out still. So please send some prayers our way!! I would be so over the moon excited if we got pregnant this month!!!!

Just wanted to share some other exciting news...our friend had her baby girl the other day. Miss Makenzi Rose is so adorable and I really enjoyed holding her! I thought it was going to be very hard to visit, but it turned out pretty good. Not that I didn't wish it was me, but I just thought I would be a lot more emotional about it. More news is that my very best BFF Ashley had her first ultrasound this week and is about 10 weeks along with a perfect little bean. She also got engaged today (I knew the whole time...what a fun thing to be involved in!) I felt honored to be asked for advice and to help pick out a ring that I just knew she would love. So GOD IS GOOD! Lots of very exciting things happening for some very special people in my life. Even though I have some rough days, I never stop praying for them. I am ALWAYS going to be supportive for my very best friends. And I KNOW they will do the same for me when my time comes. Life isn't always fair-we all know that, but everything happens for a reason. Why is God making me wait for a baby when I own a home, have a loving husband, and we both have good jobs? I don't know! But He must have something really special in the plans for us. I cant wait to find out what those plans are, and I cant wait for the day I'm holding my own little miracle!

A New Month

So AF has come and gone....hooray! CD10 and I was going to start opks this morning but forgot and already peed. Haha! So I will start them tomorrow! Really hoping this is our month. It would be great timing for my hubby to be out of school for the summer! So not much is going on on our front.

In other news, we got a new dog! Her name is Zoe and she is super cute. Her and Harlow have been getting along great. The potty training again has just been a little difficult. I don't like accidents on my carpet! When Harlow was a puppy, we lived in a house with hardwood floors so accidents weren't as bad. Life is definitely crazy with two dogs! Dusty is a little sad that Harlow spends more time playing with Zoe and he doesn't get as many cuddles. Zoe was crate trained so we have been having her sleep in there and once she is potty trained then we will let her in the bed with us. Oh and when we get a king size bed (which is hopefully this fall/winter) she's a very playful and loving girl, and I really want her to be a great addition to our family. I know it takes a while to readjust with something new.

So here's to hoping for a BFP this month for me and a lot of other girls!

Life after BFN

Well, here we are again. As you all know, I got my BFN last week and now currently on CD 4. I was not as crushed as I thought I'd be, it definitely doesn't compare to a miscarriage. I'm not sure what to blog about since my TWW is over so I've decided to share some positives of not being pregnant this month. 
1. If I get pregnant on the next cycle, I'd be due at the end of may. My hubby is a teacher, so we would be off all summer as a family.
2. I have more time to save up my time off at work to hopefully take a full 12 weeks off. 
3. I can keep focusing on losing weight! 
4. I have more time to get this prescription folic acid in my system since I have this "condition" that I've talked about previously. 
5. I have desperately been wanting a new bedroom set and to upgrade to a king size bed- now it just may fit into the budget.
6. I am dying to go on a really nice vacation. If it takes a while to get pregnant again, then I may plan something for us next summer.

Those a just a few. Of course I would give anything to be holding a sweet little baby in my arms, but since I can't just yet, I can still do some things for myself. Dusty and I have also been considering getting another dog. We would love to have more fur babies to love and I think Harlow would love a playmate. We are weighing our pros and cons and will see what we think is best for our "family". 

A friend of ours is due with her second baby in about a week. She and I made a pact to be pregnant together. She's very fertile so she got pregnant on the first try, and here I am still with nothing. I am scared of how I will handle my emotions when her baby is here. So bittersweet for me knowing I could have one by now too. Please pray that I have the strength to keep it together when we go to congratulate the new parents (again) and meet baby Makenzi. 

ONE MORE THING I'm excited about is that football season is right around the corner. Hubby and I have Cincinnati Bengals season tickets and we LOVE going to all the games. This definitely keeps us busy and will hopefully help keep my mind off of all this TTC stuff a little bit. 

Take care everyone 
Kel 

No Test, No Stress

It's amazing how much of a better day you have when you don't have any tests in the house to use. Still no AF, so I guess that means I still have a chance. 12 days past the first day I got a positive opk. So I'm assuming 10-12 dpo? Maybe I was testing too early? Who knows!!! Geez....so anyways, I spent the morning cleaning the house, my step brother spent the night and hung out, and then went to my BFFs house and took Harlow swimming in their pond! She was the cutest little puppy swimmer! As my BFF (who is currently 7 wks preggo) and I sat and talked I shared with her my concerns for my next pregnancy. I am concerned that the baby aspirin won't be enough-i read some articles online where other doctors give their patients Lovenox/Heparin for my "condition". I am concerned with how I am supposed to not worry throughout my next pregnancy of if I will have another mc. How do you keep the worrying and stress down? It seems nearly impossible. Another mc is just not something I want to go thru again. So I'm waiting until next week to test again if AF doesn't show. Baby steps, I suppose. Gotta get that bfp first. How awesome would it be to be preggo with your BFF? It's like I want this MORE now just so I can share these moments with her. She's been my BFF for the last 6 or so years, and we've been thru a lot together. She's always been there for me! I pray for her every night that she has a healthy pregnancy so that she doesn't have to feel the pain that so many of us girls have felt. (Side note: every freaking blog I write makes me want to cry-when did I get so emotional?) Lastly, as my first original due date comes up in October, I want to do something to honor my sweet angel babies who I'll never get to hold. I was thinking of getting those lanterns that you release into the sky (no clue what they are called). Any one have a better idea? Thanks again for reading! 

Kel

So Friday night....here we are. Just spent the evening at the county fair with my hubby, mom, step brother, and niece. It was really run! I had some yummy food and watched my niece ride rides all night! So I got home and took another Preg test. Still negative :/ no pregnant symptoms, no AF symptoms, no clue what to think. What's a girl to do?! I'm officially out of tests so at least that will keep me from testing. If AF doesn't show by Monday then I will get another. Hoping that I'm just too early to test still, but trying not to get my hopes up because I really don't want to be crushed any further (if that's possible). Today is 11 days past the first day I got a smiley face on the opk. So I guess it depends exactly when I ovulated. Don't you all just hate this back and forth game? It's seriously stinks so bad. I never dreamed that having a baby would be this difficult. While at work the other night, a co worker and I got on the topic of ttc. She told me how she's had 3 mc and still ended up with 3 kids after fertility treatments. She offered to ever talk if I needed it or a shoulder to cry on, I almost cried right there! It was so nice of her to say that, and so nice that she knew exactly how I feel.  I truly believe that those who haven't been thru an mc just don't understand. Dusty and I have been going to church and praying more often hoping we can find some peace throughout this entire situation. I appreciate all the prayers you all have sent our way. And know that I'm praying for you all too! So I will leave you with a quote I saw on Pinterest. It says "Hope shines brightest in darkest moments". So remember, thru all of these dark moments we all experience we still shine thru with hope. This is the strongest group of women I know! We WILL get thru this!

With love,
Kel

The Dreaded Two Week Wait

Sooo TWW we meet again....you are officially almost over! T-2 days until testing day in which I'll be 11 dpo. So what I have I been doing to keep busy? Mostly working. I am an ultrasound tech at hospital about an hour away from home. In my department I do abdominal, vascular, and ob/gyn scans. It's a really cool job, but not as glamorous as tv and the movies portray! We also redecorated our spare bathroom (again). Hubby surprised me by painting it while I was at work! How sweet! So now it looks way awesome! So as testing day approaches I am becoming more and more nervous. Terrified even! I feel like. I've gotten pregnant so easily the other times that I'm almost expecting a positive, and will be crushed if its negative. But once I get a positive test my doctor wants me to be seen right away in his office. He will do some blood work to check progesterone, etc. I really hope third time is the charm! Now that we somewhat have answers, I hope i can maintain the pregnancy this time. We have several people praying for us, and I know that it can work! While the pain of the previous losses will never go away, I feel that I can only be cured by having success for once. We all know the devastating feeling of pregnancy announcement after announcement by friends, Facebook, and even IG! WHY NOT ME RIGHT!? "I'm happy for you and sad for me" I've said this more times that I can count. It's just draining sometimes! So hopefully myself along with several others IG girls near the end of their TWW will finally be experiencing the joy of a positive test and a future successful pregnancy! Please keep us all in your prayers. Thanks again for reading! 

-Kel

Introduction

So I made a blog! (Thanks Kristen!) I'm sure no one is too interested in my small town Ohio life, but here goes! So just to start off, I'll tell you my story. Dusty and I got married June 30, 2012. We always kinda decided we would wait a year or so to start TTC but we found ourselves just wanting a baby earlier than that. Piece of cake, right? It can't be that hard! Boyyy was I wrong. I never dreamed it would be like this. We tried for about 4 months and then decided to start using OPKs. First time-BAM! Pregnant! Then about 5 days later I had my first MC. My dad accidentally spilled the beans on Facebook the day after I told him, so I had to announce to all 600+ friends of the devastating news. So, we took a couple month break since I was signing up for extra short term disability benefits at work, so I'd get paid more on maternity leave someday. So, we started trying again in April/May 2013 and another positive with opks right away! Yay! This has just got to be it! Wrong again....made it to 6 weeks and started bleeding over a weekend when I was working. Since I am an ultrasound tech, I took a quick peek with my machine and saw my baby passing. The one I thought for sure was coming this time. I was so devastated and couldn't keep my composure in front of my patients and had to leave work. Not again!! So my OB doctor ordered a thrombophilia panel to try and figure out a reason. Turns out I have a MTHFR gene mutation. It's not a clotting disorder persay, but apparently can cause blood clots between the placenta and the uterus, therefore, the nutrients are not getting to baby. It also is a disorder of the breakdown of amino acids (like folic acid). So the doctor put me on prescription strength folic acid and once I get pregnant I will need to start taking baby aspirin. After doing some research on this condition, I read a lot of doctors give their patients Lovenox or Heparin (much stronger blood thinners). So now I'm a little worried that the baby aspirin won't be enough. I DO NOT want to have another mc and THEN decide I might need something stronger. So now I am currently in my two week wait and will be testing Friday. Any extra prayers you might have, please send a quick one my way! I'm terrified of a BFN since I've gotten pregnant easily in the past, I just have problems maintaining the pregnancy! Sorry this is so long! Thanks for listening! Can't wait to post more!